Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

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Ignorance lies not in the things you don't know, but in the things you know that ain't so.

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I remember when being liberal meant being generous with your own money.

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Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf."

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I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.

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We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.

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America has the best politicians money can buy.

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There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

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I would love to see Mr. (Henry) Ford in there, really. I don't know who started the idea that a President must be a Politician instead of a Business man. A Politician can't run any other kind of business. So there is no reason why he can run the U.S. That's the biggest single business in the World.

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