I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.

---

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

---

America has the best politicians money can buy.

---

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

---

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

---

The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

---

Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.

---

Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans

---

The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.

---

There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches.

---