Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

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Here's a good rule of thumb; too clever is dumb.

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Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

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God in His wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.

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There was a young man of Herne Bay who was making some fireworks one day: but he dropped his cigar in the gunpowder jar. There was a young man of Herne Bay.

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Too much Chablis can make you whablis.

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Some debts are fun while you are acquiring them, But none are fun when you set about retiring them.

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The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

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Celery, raw, Develops the jaw

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Some primal termite knocked on wood. And tasted it, and found it good. And that is why your Cousin May Fell through the parlor floor today.

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