Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.

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There was a young man of Herne Bay who was making some fireworks one day: but he dropped his cigar in the gunpowder jar. There was a young man of Herne Bay.

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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

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I hold a little fundraiser every day. Its called going to work.

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I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick.

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A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future. - Denis Waitley

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To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing and be nothing. - Elbert Hubbard

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Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.

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Old is always fifteen years from now.

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It isn't a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that's beautiful.

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