The problem in America isn't so much what people don't know; the problem is what people think they know that just ain't so.

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There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

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Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans

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I remember when being liberal meant being generous with your own money.

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Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

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Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

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Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf."

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I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.

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Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.

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Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.

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