And his expression, now. I realized right then -- how disappointed you could be when you were all in with someone. When you cared so deeply. How your heart could break, so precisely and quickly. ― Maurene Goo

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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin

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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. George Carlin

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People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. - George Carlin

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The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. — George Carlin

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When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. - George Carlin

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A disappointed is merely an assignment for your next appointment.― Kayambila Mpulamasaka

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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. - George Carlin

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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

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