Soon, when all is well, you're going to look back on this period of your life and be so glad that you never gave up.— Brittany Burgunder

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The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. — George Carlin

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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin

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'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

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I think Ronald Reagan was one of the great presidents, period, not just recently. I thought he had the demeanor. I thought he had the bearing. I thought he had the thought process.- Donald Trump

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People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. - George Carlin

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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

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The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

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I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin

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