If we have the attitude that it’s going to be a great day, it usually is. — Catherine Pulsifier

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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. George Carlin

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I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin

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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. - George Carlin

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Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

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Big jobs usually go to the men who prove their ability to outgrow small ones. – Ralph Emerson

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Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it. —Henry David Thoreau

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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. - George Carlin

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The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

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I had no problem relating to Peter Parker. He feels like he might be in way over his head but is desperate to prove himself. - Jon Watts

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