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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
I'm not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it, I don't know when I lost it, I don't really think I ever had it. But I've seen the boss's job...and I don't want it!
I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick.
Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives.
Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.
A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky dog in a gloomy family, or a sad dog in a happy one? Snarling people have snarling dogs, dangerous people have dangerous ones.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.
The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble.
Time is what prevents everything from happening at once. — John Archibald Wheeler
