You go through big chunks of time where you're just thinking, 'this is impossible - oh,this is impossible'. And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.

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Now every girl is expected to have: Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.

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If you ever start to feel good about yourself... .... they have this thing called the internet.

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Whatever the problem - be part of the solution

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There are no mistakes only opportunities.

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Everybody kind of gets to be the person they didn't get to be.

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Just say yes and you'll figure it out afterwards.

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Sometimes if you have a difficult decisin to make, just stall until the answer presents itself.

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A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss.

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Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.

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