Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.

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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

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If we were meant to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear.

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Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.

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Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

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A little more kindness, A little less speed, A little more giving, A little less greed, A little more smile, A little less frown, A little less kicking, A man while he's down, A little more "We", A little less "I", A little more laugh, A little less cry, A little more flowers, On the pathway of life, And fewer on graves, At the end of the strife.

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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

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The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.

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To be great, truly great, you have to be the kind of person who makes the others around you great.

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No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot

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