I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me. -Mitch Hedberg

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Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck! ― Aladdin

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I did NOT have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty. ― Imelda Marcos

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I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people.- Mitch Hedberg

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A lot of people feel very good about Mitt Romney and I think he's going to do a great job.- Donald Trump

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An Immense hatred keeps me alive... i would live for a thousand years if i were certain of seeing the whole world croak.

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Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!- Mitch Hedberg

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I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.- Mitch Hedberg

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Better the illusions that exalt us than ten thousand truths.

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One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.- Euripides

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