Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.―Neil Gaiman

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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

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Men have died from time to time, and words have eaten them, but not for love.

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I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people.- Mitch Hedberg

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I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday. — Eleanor Roosevelt

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When each day is the same as the next, it’s because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day that the sun rises. ― Paulo Coelho

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You can’t get to a time before the Big Bang because there was no time before the Big Bang. We have finally found something that doesn’t have a cause, because there was no time for a cause to exist in.

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I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.- Mitch Hedberg

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Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffett

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I actually started off majoring in computer science, but I knew right away I wasn't going to stay with it. It was because I had this one professor who was the loneliest, saddest man I've ever known. He was a programmer, and I knew that I didn't want to do whatever he did. So after that, I switched to Communications.- J. Cole

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