Why drink and drive if I can smoke and fly?

---

Children should neither be seen nor heard from – ever again. ― W. C. Fields

---

What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others. -Diogenes

---

People’s good deeds we write in water. The evil deeds are etched in brass.

---

What contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch? ― W. C. Fields

---

If you are poor, avoid wine as a costly luxury; if you are rich, shun it as a fatal indulgence. Stick to plain water.

---

Claiming there is no other life in the universe is like scooping up some water, looking at the cup and claiming there are no whales in the ocean.

---

You cannot cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.

---

Fire and water looked so lovely together. It was a pity they destroyed each other by nature. ― R.F. Kuang

---

Drowned in a vat of whiskey... Oh Death, where is thy sting? ― W.C. Fields

---