The news of my death is greatly exaggerated. ― W.C. Fields

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Never trust a man who doesn't drink. ― W.C. Fields

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One key to success is to have lunch at the time of day most people have breakfast. — Robert Brault

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Here lies W.C.Fields. I'd rather be living in Philadelphia. ― W.C. Fields

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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty. ― W. C. Fields

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Drowned in a vat of whiskey... Oh Death, where is thy sting? ― W.C. Fields

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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night ― W.C. Fields

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Don't be a luddy-duddy! Don't be a mooncalf! Don't be a jabbernowl! You're not those, are you? ― W.C. Fields

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Children should neither be seen nor heard from – ever again. ― W. C. Fields

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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. ― W.C. Fields

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