Don't be a luddy-duddy! Don't be a mooncalf! Don't be a jabbernowl! You're not those, are you? ― W.C. Fields

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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. ― W.C. Fields

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There's no such thing as a free lunch. -Milton Friedman

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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump! ― W. C. Fields

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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon. ― W.C. Fields

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Goddamn the whole fucking world and everyone in it except you, Carlotta! ― W.C. Fields

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Never trust a man who doesn't drink. ― W.C. Fields

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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night ― W.C. Fields

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Never give a sucker an even break. ― W.C. Fields

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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. ― W.C. Fields

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