If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don't want to do it.

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If you love friends, you will serve your friends. If you love community, you will serve your community. If you love money, you will serve your money. And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself.

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If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.

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Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.

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Global warming isn't real because I was cold today! Also great news: world hunger is over because I just ate.

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My grandfather did not travel across 4,000 miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this country overrun by immigrants. He did it because he killed a man back in Ireland.

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An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

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There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good.

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I hold a little fundraiser every day. Its called going to work.

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It is a well known fact that reality has liberal bias.

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