You can't always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream. -Frank Zappa

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All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff. -Frank Zappa

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You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.- Frank Zappa

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If anything goes bad, I did it. If anything goes semi-good, we did it. If anything goes real good, then you did it. That's all it takes to get people to win football games for you.

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I tried football and got my ass beat. I tried baseball, and the ball knocked out one of my teeth.

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Beer may cause you to digress - and lead a happier life.

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There's more to life than dating the boy on the football team. — Taylor Swift

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The way you motivate a football team is to eliminate the unmotivated ones.

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Without deviation progress is not possible.- Frank Zappa

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People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.

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