We'd all like to vote for the best man but he's never a candidate.

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The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

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There's another advantage to being poor - a doctor will cure you faster.

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Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.

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Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.

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There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?

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Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

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The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.

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A never-failing way to get rid of a fellow is to tell him something for his own good.

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The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

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